Letter to Gen Z

Dear Z,

You opened this page out of curiosity. You just wanted to skim over this, probably as quickly as possible, didn’t you? You’re reading this, so you got this far. If I were a genie and told you that in exchange for ten minutes of your time I would in return hand over information that would stick with you for the rest of your life, would you do it? Consider me a genie, then.

I always question how the encounter would go if I had the opportunity to sit down with my teenage self. The eighteen-year-old Jarom would be nervously looking down as I spoke to him. He couldn’t possibly maintain confident eye contact. He was a shy young man, very deep into religion and ignorant of the world. Unfocused in high school but still somewhat content. The most important thing in his life was basketball and the next Lloyd banks album. His reality was ignorance. He only knew it through music, movies and television.

In many ways you guys symbolize the eighteen-year-old Jarom. Of course, some of you are far past who I was at eighteen…but I feel many people at your age struggle with the same issues no matter what decade it is. Technology and society have evolved but ultimately, humans are the same now as we were five hundred years ago. We all feel pain, fear and anxiety. Young adults stress their reputations and social status tediously. Many people are on the receiving end of bullying. Has this ever not happened since mankind has existed?

I want you to know that I truly feel that I have a firm comprehension of your struggles and issues. I use social media partly to see what the world is evolving to. To witness with my own eyes the reality of Gen z’s problems. I don’t want to come across as that annoying adult who tries to understand but always falls short of comprehension. I truly feel that most of the points I’m going to bring up are universal and deeply beneficial independent of what age you are. The only reason I stress this on you is because you’re still young and have the potential for a long life. I want you to maximize every last drop of happiness in this existence. Consider that the following ideas are the gateway to mental freedom and happiness.

1. You attract what you give. If you sexualize yourself people will only want to have sex with you. Nature doesn’t care about your feelings on the matter. You can listen to as many TikTok videos as you want about physical freedom, sexual liberation and agree with what society says all you want. Doesn’t matter. Society wants you to believe in something because it’s what it wishes was true… not what is actually true. The issue people are now having is they sexualize themselves while simultaneously wanting a solid romantic partner. This is a monumental issue and contradiction that will leave you confused and upset. People will live their whole lives trying to do both of these things and constantly failing. Choose your desires and put forth the actions and ideas necessary to find the end goal to them.
2. This life is your book, and every page is blank. Don’t want to go to college? Don’t. Don’t want to buy a house? Don’t. The idea of marriage isn’t sitting right? Don’t do it then. Want to stop your entire career midway and start something random? Do it. Stop viewing life as school, work, then marriage etc… Life is not preprogrammed. In fact, take pride in doing whatever you want. Life is a customizable program. View life as a thick book. It’s only your book, and no one holds the pen except for you. You’re writing out this book each and every day you wake up in the morning. Each chapter is your choice. Remember that every time you turn that page…it’s always going to be completely blank. Too often people give their pen away or allow other people to write on their pages.
3. Social media will make you feel worse about yourself. Imagine you step onto a basketball court with all strangers. You have a deep level of pride in your skill set and rarely ever lose. Game starts. Ball checks in. within seconds you find yourself getting physically and mentally destroyed. They are dunking, crossing you over and scoring on you as if you aren’t even in their way. No matter how hard you try, you continually fail to have any impact in the game. After the suffering is over you drive home never wanting to ball again. Your pride is gasping for air and the discouragement is overwhelming. Few days pass. You turn on the news and discover that the game you were involved in consisted of all NBA players. Now swap out NBA players here with social media models and fitness influencers and the logic is the exact same. You are literally scrolling down your feed looking at the absolute Best-looking people in the world and comparing yourself to them. This is a certain form of mental suffering. Comprehend the reality of what social media actually is. One walk down Walmart and what do you see? screaming children, stressed parents and hardworking people all trying to make ends meet. that is reality. Always know that if you gamble by using social media the negative aspect will always push on your thoughts if you aren’t comprehending actual reality. take note.
4. Your happiness rests on how well you can control your emotions. Your emotions determine your overall happiness. It’s the foundation. If you can master this concept and act on it, you already have reduced dramatically any chances of drama, negativity or problems in your life. People literally create their own problems by being a peasant to their own emotions. Work-out your brain as much as you work-out your body. Start now. this is so deeply vital.
5. Ignore validation. Become numb to it. If you are the last person on earth doing something, do it. Don’t tie yourself down by trying to maintain a certain look or reputation. This connects with my second point. Do what you want, when you want without validation or compliments from others. Consider that anyone in life who was ever original or started a trend was the first person to do it. They took the risk of negative reactions. Never hesitate to act on an idea because of social acceptance. Even if you act on a decision alone and no one cares guess what? You’re free. Mental liberation is peaceful.
6. dating has turned into a philosophical world of toxic masculinity vs toxic feminism. Both are wrong. thousands of “dating coaches” are in a constant philosophical battle on how dating should be. People are making money off a concept that should not be confusing. Dating and commitments should never be complicated or deeply philosophical. Simplicity is the foundation to any good thing in life. Consider these truths regarding romance: Trust, effort and communication are basics to any success regarding any commitment. Base all your actions and words off of this foundation. Men, continue to be chivalrous, and women open your arms and value that. Embrace a man who opens doors, buys small gifts and treats you well. Allow the man to excel in his masculine role and your feminine nature will always be the puzzle piece that he is missing. Remember to Always reciprocate what the other person gives…never speed up or slowdown from the pace they go. Be very mindful of this reciprocation. This will be your tool to determine if your value is staying high in the eyes of the one you love.
7. Love your parents. As you age, you’ll find yourself needing the warmth and love from your parents as you did as a child. It’s a complete circle. You’re going through a stage in life where your mind is infatuated with schoolwork, dating and social media. Toss a few drunk nights out on top of it all and the last thing on your mind is your parents’ advice or love for you. You mentally roll your eyes to their failing attempts at understanding you. But consider that We can be so engulfed in routine that we detach ourselves from the actual value of deep loving relationships with good people. I can promise you that there where be a day when all that will change. You will deeply reminisce their love for you and want to see them more as they grow old. The comprehension of how fragile life is will increase as you continue to live your life. Consider changing your thoughts to where you’re not going through any mental voids regarding the ones who brought your life to be.
8. Overthinking will ruin your life. Overthinking…the sacred art of staying up until 3am deeply obsessing over a conversation from a month ago. We all can hold hands universally of being victim to this. Where we allow our minds to have a mind of its own. In other words, we have no control over our thoughts, so we just allow them to flow any way they please. You can’t overthink your way into a better life. Not finding an answer to this issue will lead to an anxious overly stressed life filled with hypothetical scenarios that will never even happen. It will lead to restless nights and irritable mornings. The moment will never be connected with as you swim right past it. The reality is we can find ways to prevent this from happening. I strongly recommend for you to look into meditation and mindfulness. One can’t change something they can’t discover. You must know your thoughts and recognize when they appear.
9. Your body is and always will be enough. Both young men and young women are facing a full onslaught towards their securities. If I was a betting man, I’d toss all my dice on the idea that it’s far worse now than ever in history. Even the most attractive, athletic and successful individuals you know has them. Social media only magnifies internal issues like this to massive proportions. It creates this virtual standard of how you should look. Men should be a certain height, weight and make six figures. Women should be curvy. Tight waist and somehow magically always look young. What you must realize is that social media is lying to you. You are enough and always will be. Ignore the false ideas and standards social media whispers in your ear. Hear me out Gen z. You will always be enough. Consider this pleasant reality… No matter how you look, you are always someone’s preference. While you’re looking in the mirror stressed over your insecurities there is someone at that same moment who would actually selectively choose you based off their personal attractions.

People go their entire lives obsessively working for money, fame and social status only to die leaving all of it behind. The empty house they owned gets auctioned off, Clothing gets sent to charity and money gets distributed to other people. The value of life lies Soley on building deep relationships, comprehending the moment and following your passions. When you’re lying on your deathbed, the last thing on your mind will be your car, house or how many followers you have. You will only be thinking about your family and special memories.

Gen Z you are the generation that will run society and technology in the future. You also are the generation under me, and I value you like I would a younger brother or sister. I’m not trying to reinvent the wheel in this letter but only trying to pass along what I know to be true. Do me a big favor. Consider your happiness.

sincerely,

Jarom