Tag: hope

You’re in a dark cave.

You’re alone.

You left your phone in the car…no light or messages can be sent.

You’ve been yelling for hours in hope of some sort of rescue…all that’s heard is echos that seemingly mock you in return.

After hours of walking slowly through the dark hole… you sit down in tears. Hope has been defeated.

Your mind and thoughts are on the people you’re never going to see again. All the memories you will miss. “If only” is the constant phrase running through your chaotic mind.

To toss more wood to your mental fire…your prayers seemingly have been unheard. Absolutely nothing has changed. Based off your estimation, it’s been at least a day of turmoil. This unknown final chapter in your book of life was introduced with deep bouts of prayer to your “God” above. Hours of prayer in the darkness was your go to move at first.

You come to the ultimate conclusion that if you had never prayed in this cave…you would be in the same situation. In fact, all the prayers you had in your life for direction seem meaningless to you, in the moment. The faith you built for years was pointless.

You cry harder than you’ve ever cried before. The last time you whelped this bad was decades ago.

After some time, you decide to get up and start walking in hopes of finding an entrance or hear another voice. You’ve yelled for so long you cannot get any noise to come out. Tears have dried up on your face.

As you slowly walk through the physical nightmare, you trip over a rock and hit the hard ground like an acorn to a car. The fall is dead weight. You are, at this point, numb to emotion. You’ve given up on yourself. God, the one whom you gave your all to in your existence…seems to follow suit.

You have been walking in a physical nightmare now for hours and hours…nothing.

Nothing is happening.

God forgot about you. He either isn’t real or doesn’t care. There is no in-between.

Your hope is gone. There is absolutely no reason to continue trying. It’s over. You ‘re starving, afraid and depressed.

It’s all over.

You find a soft spot of mud, or what seems to be mud…and lie in it.

“This will be my grave, right here” you whisper to your broken ego.

its over.

its all done.

You tried.

Your whole life of building up your career…a waste. Your relationships? worthless. Nothing mattered. It’s done.

You stare at the darkness. It’s so dark, when you close your eyes nothing changes. All you can hear is the drips of liquid hitting the rocks around you. Oddly, you feel slightly relaxed for the first time. The adrenaline is wearing off. Exhaustion has somewhat of a calming effect to your hurt conscious.

As you lie alone in the cave…You suddenly feel a unique feeling of peace. It’s a beautiful feeling of comfort…of hope. The irony of feeling comfort in such a horrific time makes you giggle.

The feeling forces hope back into your hopeless mind.

It could be what you used to call “God”…but you’re certain it’s just another brain chemical. Regardless, this comfort gives you a potent boost to keep going. To move forward.

To put one foot in front of the other. To stay alive…just a little bit longer.

You stand up like a toddler learning to walk. You’re exhausted and drained.

One foot softly is put in front of the other and you slowly push forward. Pushing through the sadness and anger.

You walk… with zero evidence of getting out. All you have left is a sprinkle of hope that came from within.

You have, at this point in your chaos, blind faith with no results or evidence to lean on. Nothing to see…nothing to hear. Just walking in the dark once again. For whatever reason, you feel it’s worth the extra effort…and you don’t understand why. So, you just keep on walking.

Another hour of walking is your guess…then you’ll find your natural burial ground.

Then something happens.

You see a small speck of light far off in the distance. The distance away is monumental, making it look like a tiny star in the galaxy.

“hope”.

The drip of hope you had turns from a Prius to a Lamborghini. It skyrockets into certainty. Though far away, with numerous rocks and crevices ahead…that little speck of light is waiting for you.

You start walking to the itty-bitty light with new direction and motivation. As you walk…your eyes are hyper focused on it. That tiny dot is your entire future. Though small…it alone is all your hope, joy and peace. Your family…everything is on the other side of it. It is freedom and life.

The ultimate value of something so small comes across as ironic.

You trudge through foot deep water…at times going faster than you know you should. The fact you cannot see anything except the light makes it convenient to walk towards, at least.

Every so often your conscious becomes aware of the minuscule light growing bigger. With each passing step closer, the light fills out more and more.

Finally, after tediously walking through crevices and dirty water…you make it to the light. It had to at least been an hour of walking.

You stop.

The eyes that were blind the past day stares at the opening. You See trees and a cloudless blue sky. The siren from a paramedic is heard from miles away. Birds chip like they are cheering for you.

It turns out this is the same entrance you went in at…and your shiny blue car is parked. The anxiety that has been harassing you disappears as you run to the car.

“My phone!” you scream. “Nine missed calls?!” You’re too tired be anymore stressed…so you put the phone down and exhale.

The moment is absorbed slowly.

You made it. Pain and aches from the fall prick your peace. The nearest Emergency room should be the next destination, as frustrating as that sounds.

As your mind destresses…something clicks within you.

you step outside the car and fall to the ground in tears.

God, the one whom you rejected in what seemed to be your last moments…had to be there all along. The expectations you had in your mind were not his…but the end result was identical. If you would have died on the floor of that cave, given up then…the light would have never been seen.

You ponder why you walked from your burial ground earlier. Why would you robotically walk with blind faith?

Nothing was happening.

All you can ponder is the word “nothing” in your conscious. The feeling you had on the ground gave you a sprinkle of hope…but it took blind faith…and lots of it….to discover the blessing you wanted.

Without that blind faith, the final push…seemingly alone…you would not be here right now.

The scariest moment of your past journey was blindly walking without anything to see, feel or hear…but it was crucial to aligning your will with your creators will.

It was only then that your heartfelt prayers could be answered.

-Jarom