Modern Dating Vs Logic

Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Ok-Cupid. Dating app bosses, all fighting for your attention to help you find someone who can be your peace. No matter how much you seem to connect to a new person, you always seem to have a part of your brain thinking about what “could” happen if you kept on your search. Welcome to modern dating. I find myself debating if having many options is any better than having any. To me, the ability to have lots of options in dating is a curse. Many attractive individuals conveniently skip over this extensive issue. Constantly seeking someone only to find out that person is never quite good enough. The sad reality is without content one can never be happy, yet millions of young adults are already far too sluggish in their pursuit of it as it furthers its distance from them.

the logic behind dating apps is aligned perfectly with someone who gambles. When someone gambles in Vegas, they go in with the idea of only doing a little or stopping if they lose X amount of money. This same person wins a small sum and immediately loses all content with it. They win once and know that they “could” win more if they keep going. They continue to gamble in hopes of gaining more money. Gambling and content are just about as far apart as you can possibly go. Swap gambling with dating apps and the logic is just as consistent. An individual gets on a dating app with the hopes of finding just one romantic partner they click with. Once they find that connection, they’ll delete it. They are happy to finally have someone who is romantic and respectful. What happens? Just like a gambler in Vegas, they always know there could possibly be someone even more attractive or with an even deeper connection if they keep swiping. In the back of their minds, this thought always pulls on their peace.

Is your happiness not important? What’s the point of dating if you will never find peace in someone? The logic behind happiness is to discover it alone, then add someone else on top of what you’ve already created. By doing this you can reach a higher level of emotional well-being. The only justification I toss out on the table, is to those who only want sex or validation. I suppose they could care less about content anyways, considering their logic runs the opposite direction from it. The millions of young adults who do actually want to align themselves with happiness must realize this issue and go into dating apps being tediously mindful of it. The reality is even if God gave us the perfect person to be with, people would never actually know this, and their thoughts would still continue to harass them to find someone “better”. I’m not saying to delete all your apps. What I am saying is to change your mind and the way it’s processing. Mindfulness simply means to be aware.

Now consider another issue that is counter to logic. The idea of attracted someone through sexual means and expecting an outcome of depth. For some illogical reason, people honestly believe physical beauty is the key to finding genuine connections. It’s as if they are trying to change the reality of nature to suit their desires.

Let’s consider the idea of a very attractive woman. Let’s say she is deeply intellectual, loving, trustworthy and hardworking. No blank is left uncheck regarding what a man would want in her. She desires a man of value. What is a man of value? Nothing more than a reflection of the beautiful characteristics she offers. But we have a serious issue here. She finds herself gaining quite a following of men via her social media, which she uses to subliminally show off her body. She has countless men commenting on her photos, putting emojis and Dming her. She has hundreds of men at her fingertip yet is unhappy and far from content. She gets a brief high from the validation only to constantly need another puff the following day. Every time she meets up with a man, he is either focused on sex or tries to take her “back home” after drinks. She’s having deep trouble finding any man of intellect who isn’t focused on her physical, but her mind. The confusion is frustrating and a poison to her happiness. We must accept reality for what it actually is. The reality is superficiality attracts superficiality. Even if her mind is beautiful, her body will always be the main focus of a man if it’s what she is using as the way to attract. What’s even more important to realize is even if her face is absolutely gorgeous, her body will still be an obsession to men if that’s the initial way she is attracting them. The power of lust to many men is like a drug addict is to a drug dealer, imagine trying to develop a connection with a drug addict if he knew you had his drug? The sooner a woman can realize this the sooner she will find deeper connections and masculine valuable men.

Men are not void of the same exact issue. Men’s ideas of physical beauty are muscles and abs. Most guys just say “aesthetics”. The reality is tossed on men too. If a man attracts a woman because of his body, he will be attracting women who are superficial and lack depth. How does he miraculously expect a woman of depth to see “abs” and run to him? Not only is this ridiculous, but a woman of depth will not even be impressed by a nice body. What makes this logic hard to distinguish is an attractive fit man will most definitely attract pretty women. But what good is that if she is there because of your body only? what about your mind? your intellect? What about the characteristics of you that actually make you, you?

I think we have to comprehend what we are doing and if it’s aligning ourselves up with success. The goal is to optimize our chances at success. Also consider the alternative if we do commit into a relationship based off our bodies: it would be a relationship filled with anxiety, insecurity and validation. Being alone will always be far less toxic and peaceful then being in a superficial relationship. The reality is if you attract someone with your body, you are only one injury away from losing that person’s interest. There will always be someone better looking than you. Being with a superficial person will have you always subtly knowing that you’re not good enough for that person if you aren’t always at your very best. It’s like walking on a tightrope and if you slip it’s all over. Why would you sign up for such pressure and added stress? Is not the whole purpose for a relationship to add to your happiness, not create a new world of anxiety?

Take good mental notes here. My goals aren’t to give you all the answers to issues but to help you comprehend the reality of the world and situations. Logic is something so easily understood but seemingly difficult to be mindful of. Logic is like the elephant in the room, something we all know is there, but we cover it up and get busy. As soon as someone walks over, uncovers it, we see that elephant again, staring at us and we know it’s there. Logic is stationary. Logic is the reality of life. Logic doesn’t care about your feelings. Logic ignores emotion and hugs happiness. Happiness is founded in logic because logic is reality.